the day after is always just damage control
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
