and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
