so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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