i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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