Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
