i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize