party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
