paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
