Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
My feet surprised me
Never joke about your clitoris.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
