I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
