I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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