very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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