People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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