I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
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