I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
