If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
