dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
