He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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