How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
