Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
