I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
