Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize