Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
