I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
