he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
