Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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