I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
