I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
