Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
