Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
