All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
