Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It's official drugs can't kill me
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
