Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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