im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
