He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
you will always have a special place in my vag
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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