dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
