OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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