she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
