too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
