I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped