I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
