he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Sext me about skeletons
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Randomize
