I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
