Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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