Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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