i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
