My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
