a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
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