This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
