Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
