who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
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