Cold hands, warm shart.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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