: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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