He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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