I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
