Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
