Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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