the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
