rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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