So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
love makes seman taste better
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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