Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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