I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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