That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
