haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Blood and glitter go together right?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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